Supporting a Senior through Breast Cancer

Although a diagnosis of breast cancer profoundly affects an individual, anyone who has ever helped a family member or friend cope with breast cancer will tell you that it also greatly impacts the caregiver. It becomes a truly shared experience as caregivers often take on a host of unexpected new roles, and deal with myriad emotions caused by the change in their loved one's health. While each experience is unique, there are universal issues associated with caring for someone with breast cancer, including finding the delicate balance between being helpful and intrusive, and learning how to find cancer treatment information. When an older person is diagnosed with breast cancer or challenged by other issues associated with aging - among them lack of transportation or diminished cognitive functioning - the role of a caregiver may be even more complex.

When Brenda Bush's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago at the age of 77, Brenda moved back to Sheridan , Ind. , to take care of her parents, both of whom have serious health concerns. Brenda notes that there have been three 911 calls in the last two years, including one for a severe drug reaction. "When Mom went off hormone replacement, she was prescribed an antidepressant," Brenda recalls. "On the third day, Mom went into anaphylactic shock and was rushed to the hospital. In the end, we learned that it was that drug that had caused this life-threatening [incident]."

Brenda's position as the part-time manager of programs and services for Y-ME Indiana affords her the flexibility she needs to care for her parents. Her background in health care - she has worked for hospitals in marketing, trauma, and geriatrics - has also taught her to be a proactive caregiver; thus, she often accompanies them to their medical appointments. Key issues she views as critical are keeping up with the medications, and reading the prescription inserts for contraindications. Brenda also keeps a computer log of her parents' medications and hospitalizations to alleviate errors and facilitate accurate treatment if there is a sudden problem.

"I am troubled by the hospitalizations caused by drug reactions that threaten the lives of America 's elderly," says Brenda. "I still witness that they take orders verbatim, but I question and negotiate. It is a definite shift in generations." Brenda also strives to remain mindful of her parents' emotional disposition, helping them remain optimistic and as active as possible. She credits her family's Quaker background for an attitude that promotes acceptance and the sense that every day is precious. She also admits to needing continual self-reminders to pace herself and find more opportunities for relaxation. "We have human limitations and we have to take care of ourselves," she adds.

Janet Germaine, a Y-ME Illinois volunteer, served as a primary caregiver before her mother succumbed to cancer more than five years ago. To tend to her mother's care after she was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1982, Janet took a break from college. In 1999, her mother was diagnosed with liver metastases at the age of 77, and Janet again undertook a primary care role, taking her mother to weekday treatment sessions while her sister assisted on weekends. On of the issues Janet faced was helping her mother stay focused on her own health even though her stepfather was battling emphysema. She also helped her mother navigate information and decision-making. Another concern for Janet was trying to focus on her career as a sales consultant.

"When I would go to work and leave her with the person that was taking care of her during the day, the hardest part was trying to focus on my objectives, but knowing that I [might] have to drop [something] at any minute," says Janet. She combated stress by eating right and getting enough sleep. "I managed well because she managed well," Janet adds. "I managed by staying rested, keeping a good eye on her and staying positive. It was stressful but I tried to alleviate the unknown, and to remain productive."

Taking care of an older loved one with breast cancer can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be extremely taxing, placing demands on your time and your energy, and ultimately leading to burn out. To cope with the conflicting emotions that may arise - resentment, guilt and sadness, among them - take time for yourself, find support by talking with other caregivers, and utilize available family, friends, and community resources to give you the respite you need.

There are many options you have while going through treatment, and it may be difficult to make the decisions on your own. Need someone to talk to? Call the Y-ME Hotline peer counselors - they're all dedicated to empower you to be the number-one decision maker on your health care team.

Making a Choice: One Senior's Story

Mary Mills of Hemet, Calif., was 79 years old when she was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer after her annual mammogram. "My lumpectomy was the day before my 80 th birthday, so I was in the hospital recovering from surgery on my birthday," recalls Mary. "To get rid of the cancer was the best birthday present."

After meeting with her radiologist, Mary learned about the results of a study published in the September 2004 issue of New England Journal of Medicine that concluded that a lumpectomy plus therapy with tamoxifen is a realistic treatment option for women 70 and older with early, estrogen-receptor-positive breast cancer. As a result, Mary opted not to have radiation. That same day, Mary was prescribed anastrozole (Arimidex), an aromatase inhibitor that has a limiting effect on estrogen. "Because of my arthritis problems, I opted not to take the radiation," says Mary who lives alone in a senior housing community. "I'm glad I didn't because I was around seniors who were receiving it and it drained their strength.I feel that I made the right decision for my quality of life."

After this article was written, Mary was diagnosed with breast cancer again in October 2005. She plans on learning as much as she can about this diagnosis and participating in the decision-making process for her treatment plan.

This article was frist printed in the Lifeline.

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